Please Shut Up. I’m begging you.

My buddy Mohamed is his mouth again:
“I think we still have a chance if we continue with our work, if Iraq provides full cooperation, we should still be able to avoid a war,” said Mohamed ElBaradei, who will also present a report to the council.
In other news, ElBaradei stated that if he was provided the appropriate sphincter-enlargement and implanted with genetically mutated winged simians, “We indeed have a chance that monkeys will fly out of my butt.”