Happy New Pope!

I haven’t had much to say on the selection of the new Pope. As a non-practicing agnostic, to me, the fanfare of the past few days has been roughly equivalent to learning that the Marlins have found a new star pitcher: it’s not just that they’re not my team, I don’t even particularly follow the sport.
But that said, the course and fate of what is arguably the most successful organization in the history of humanity can’t help but be important on a planetary scale, so I wish Benedict XVI the best, and congratulate Catholics worldwide. I also proffer two bits of advice for the new pontiff:
1) Get a new publicist, like, right now. We’ve all heard the expectation-setting pre-spin that you’re not going to be as telegenic a Pope as JP was, but that doesn’t mean you have to let people publish photos of you that make you like a vampire.
2) If you see Andrew Sullivan, cross the street.

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